Thoughts for the night

As I sit here all I can think about is the feel of your kiss... The touch of your hand on mines...envisioning you sleeping to ease your mind as I rub my fingers through your hair... I embody the days we spend together... I yearn for the nights where I can get you to myself but only cause I miss the smell of hair & body... I miss laying under you our bodies touching as your hand touches mines & we fall asleep knowing that our love is true & all while knowing that you are mines & I am yours

Just my feelings

I think about what I feel like I'm in need of... A spouse or friend who has my back just as much as I have his. You see I am always the person who when dealing w/ someone I believe in having their back & not wanting anything in return... It has turned me into being that rock they can lean on but I am now in search for mines... I have never had a healthy relationship now that I think of it. I mean it's always the bare minimum because I have always been so independent that when I need them they can't handle it & next thing you know it's over & done .... Is it cause I just always really go to my family & friends? It makes me think I it something About me that makes me unable to be cared for in my time of need & I attract guys who just can't match me...

Where has the loved gone?

What do you do when you can't seem to love anymore? When you lost all the fight you thought you had? When it seems that you have lost yourself as a person? ...... You have to get to the root of why? Why does it seem like when you had the love you were loving & giving but can't seem to be receiving the same back?

I think that's what hurt the most is that the love is being taken advantage of , . When your constantly being viewed as the giver & not receiver in it.... I just don't understand but all I can do is ask myself what to do???? Maybe I should just let go & let God... Remove myself emotionally & just show him that you're going to miss out on the love that was held genuinely in my heart...... But wait, is this even love that I have? Or is it the lust or the dream of having a relationship