Tuesday, January 10, 2012

It seems like my life has been destined for bad luck...No matter how much I try to do the right thing nothing seems to go my way. I know what I have to do to get where I need to be but, this one problem seems to not want to go away no matter how hard I try. I am hurting dear lord please hear my prayers.........i give all my heart & soul over to you. My problems and drrams i'm putting them in your hands....release me from the hands if the devils and guide me into the right direction.


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its time to part ways

In the beginning it was all grand....talks all night, endless laughter...but somewhere down the road it became less about us and more about you.  I did my part in trying to be a good friend first. The tears roll down my face and I can't stop them from falling. But I know parting ways is for the best. I can admit that my feelings for you were true. But, i just don't believe its true for a me & you.....


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Friday, January 6, 2012

Silence

Anyone who knows me know that I always have a story to tell or something to laugh at.  But, lately I've been so silent that its making me scared.  I say this because once I'm fed up and overthinking the key to me fixing my issue is to disassociate myself and breakdown into this shell of mines.  My silence means that I am very upset, pissed, and angry.   Once I become silent then something is wrong and folks need to worry cause eventually alot of people will be dismissed and so far so good........

Rain doesn't last always and joy comes in the morning.

Feeling to nice

As I sit and pay attention to the past year of my life i realized that I am just to damn nice. I can say no but, I hate saying no. I believe that karma is real and that if I start being mean then nothing good will come out of anything. But, me saying yes 95% of the time ends up with me being unhappy and feeling used. Yes, I can say this about a few people. I have been their backbone, the one they can call for anything, the one who doesn't mind letting you use their car or sleeping on their couch. I sit around and would end up lonely and bored while they are driving around having a bunch of fun and not even attempting to try and make me smile. Well, I am tired. I have given so much of myself and I haven't received anything in return.  I have been used and abused ((not physically)) and verbally mistreated because of the fact that I am too nice. Its like people know how to use a guilty plea with me and that I will feel bad and I shouldn't. I am over making people happy and putting myself last. Its time for me to do what's best for me.